08 February 2003 - 1:09 pm
2/2/3
I don�t write as well when I�m happy. I don�t really have the much to bitch about anymore. I have a wonderful partner, whom I love and love spending time with. Wow � we�ve been together for 6 months now. I do believe that�s a personal record. We have a new apartment. The trauma of my best friend moving out isn�t all that traumatic anymore, now that I�ve had time to adjust. Yeah, I don�t see her as much as I�d like, and I miss being able to go into her room, crawl up next to her in her bed and watch Iron Chef, but it�s nice to see us both growing up a little. It�s strange to think about. From the time I was 18 I�ve thought of myself as an adult, and it�s not until now, a decade later, that I�ve begun thinking of myself as a grownup. It�s hard to be a grownup when your Inner Child is fighting tooth and nail to become an Outer Child and your best friend�s Outer Child is giggling and jumping up and down and encouraging *your* Outer Child to eat paste. (�Poor Daban. So ugly. So dumb. Why God hate you so much?�)
I know now I don�t have to fight with my Inner Child (and he *did* return to being my Inner Child). We can occupy the same space. We can even have fun. But I can�t let him run rampant, and I refuse to let him eat paste. He now sits on the Council of Voices in my head, helping me make decisions on a daily basis, along with Outer Adult, Outer Snatch, Reason, Wisdom, Compassion, and Penis.
I really want to be upset about having to travel so much for work, but it�s only for these two weeks, and it�s kinda nice. I get a mini-vacation and my company is paying for it.
2/3/3
As soon as I can get my laptop working properly I�ll update, so there will probably be a lot to read. Correction. As soon as I figure out what I�m doing wrong with my laptop I�ll update.
It�s very strange to be surrounded by the people who are supposed to be taking over your function. I came here under the assumption that they were ticketing wizards, able to handle any obstacle, and so impressive that the bigwigs decided that it would be better to move the functionality to Atlanta. But I get here and these people couldn�t scratch their collective ass if they had a wild cat in each hand. OK, maybe that�s too harsh. Maybe I just expected more from the people who are doing my job now. For all that I�ve gone thru in the past 6 months, I�d expect them to be better than me, but I doubt that�s ever going to happen. I�ve been doing this for 4 years. They�ve been doing it for 4 weeks. Jeezus, that alone makes me weep.
2/4/3
Today I woke up with a cold. I can�t wait to get back to Vegas.
Feel the Chi. Repulse the Monkey.
2/5/3
Zicam. It�s a cold remedy. It�s mainly zinc, comes in a spray bottle, and you squirt it up your nose. Now, the funky part about it is that it isn�t a liquid, it�s a gel. So I�m shooting something with the consistency of snot up my nose. My head hurts. It feels like a balloon.
Right before I left tonight one of the guys at work was talking to the woman I was training. He was showing her pics of his cat and his dog and his boyfriend. She was saying how much she hates cats. He mentioned that the plant that he stole from work was dead � the cat peed in it. He said that now he puts pine cones in the planters to keep the cat from peeing in them. He said it works. �When he squats he gets a little prick in his ass.� And I replied, �I hate when that happens.�
2/6/3
�Oh no. I see. A spiderweb is tangled up with me. And I lost my head. I thought of all the stupid things I�ve said. Oh no, what�s this? A spiderweb and I�m caught in the middle. So I turn to run. And thought of all the stupid things I�d done. And I never meant to cause you trouble. I never meant to do you wrong. And if I ever caused you trouble. Oh no I never meant to do you harm. Oh no I see. A spider web and it�s me in the middle. So I�ll twist and turn. But here am I a man in a bubble. Singing I never meant to cause you trouble. I never meant to do you wrong. And if I ever caused you trouble. Oh no I never meant to do you harm. They spun a web for me. They spun a web for me. They spun a web for me.�
-Coldplay
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