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26 December 2002 - 7:22 pm

What I’ve learned over the last four years

• “My grandkids are cuter then yours” *is* a justifiable reason to start a riot.

• It’s never a good idea to sleep with her boyfriend. Even if it’s his idea. Even if she’s ok with it. Never.

• I look good with baby-ducky-yellow hair.

• I look better bald.

• So I fired off two warning shots … into his head!

• Nothing’s as exciting as getting a blue thumbprint on the top of your head.

• If he’s rude to your friends, he needs to go.

• I can never listen to pigeons without laughing.

• The kitchen floor is the most comfortable place in the apartment. Especially when you’re drunk.

• Comfortable couches have their own gravitational pull.

• You’d be surprised where Hooters cards will turn up.

• Friends don’t let friends drink and perform magic. (4 glasses!)

• Nothing makes a room as exciting and fun as a glow-in-the-dark Star Wars battle.

• You da God!

• The “real” journal was in my trunk.

• He gives good head because he can suck his own dick. Duh.

• Always make sure your flash works.

• SOUP!

• The more ghetto the place, the better the food.

• A deer-in-the-headlights look is NOT the proper response to “Are you on drugs?”

• Cool.

• “I LIKE BLUE TOAST!”

• Hearts.

• Moto to the power of Moto to the power of Moto.

• Always keep a straight face when your friends are telling a secret.

• This one time at band camp, that’s not a yogurt stain on the couch.

• “Do you need help?” is the #1 trigger for a total emotional meltdown. Just so you know.

• I’m much prettier than the other girls.

 

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