26 December 2002 - 7:22 pm
What I’ve learned over the last four years
• “My grandkids are cuter then yours” *is* a justifiable reason to start a riot.
• It’s never a good idea to sleep with her boyfriend. Even if it’s his idea. Even if she’s ok with it. Never.
• I look good with baby-ducky-yellow hair.
• I look better bald.
• So I fired off two warning shots … into his head!
• Nothing’s as exciting as getting a blue thumbprint on the top of your head.
• If he’s rude to your friends, he needs to go.
• I can never listen to pigeons without laughing.
• The kitchen floor is the most comfortable place in the apartment. Especially when you’re drunk.
• Comfortable couches have their own gravitational pull.
• You’d be surprised where Hooters cards will turn up.
• Friends don’t let friends drink and perform magic. (4 glasses!)
• Nothing makes a room as exciting and fun as a glow-in-the-dark Star Wars battle.
• You da God!
• The “real” journal was in my trunk.
• He gives good head because he can suck his own dick. Duh.
• Always make sure your flash works.
• The more ghetto the place, the better the food.
• A deer-in-the-headlights look is NOT the proper response to “Are you on drugs?”
• “I LIKE BLUE TOAST!”
• Moto to the power of Moto to the power of Moto.
• Always keep a straight face when your friends are telling a secret.
• This one time at band camp, that’s not a yogurt stain on the couch.
• “Do you need help?” is the #1 trigger for a total emotional meltdown. Just so you know.
• I’m much prettier than the other girls.